Nov 22, 2010

The Boy - Vitamins

So my best friend, S, and I were headed out to a house warming party. And by "house warming party" I really mean "an excuse to get shit faced."

Anyway, S had read somewhere that if you take a multi-vitamin before a night of heavy drinking, you're less likely to have a severe hangover the next day. (I cannot confirm nor deny if this worked due to events that are about to unfold.)

So we pull into a gas station to get candy, sodas, and cigarettes. You know, because we're healthy like that. And when I get back into the car, S tells me we should probably take our vitamins now. So she hands me one.

Before I continue, I should warn all of you that the only vitamins I've ever taken in my life have been Flinstone Chewable Vitamins...So no one's allowed to call me an idiot after reading what I'm about to do...

I pop the thing in my mouth and do the only thing that seems natural to me: I chomp down on the vitamin. The second the vitamin splits in two, I wanna die. It was the most awful, chalky, disgusting taste I've ever had the displeasure of having in my mouth. Unfortunately, with one bite, I had already reached the moment of no return and was forced to chew the rest of the vitamin into small bits so that I could swallow it. As it went down, I prayed that the taste would go with it. Unfortunately, it did not. No matter what I put in my mouth, nothing could rid me of the absolute ash cloud that had become my mouth. I whined and screamed and complained the entire way to the house. All the while, S was laughing her ass off at my stupidity.

Moral of the story: when your best friend hands you a strange pill, just swallow it whole and don't ask questions.

-K

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