I don't understand why I am so awful at wrapping gifts, but I am.
The goal of wrapping a present is to hide what the gift actually is... I accomplish that at least. But they do not look pretty. The corners don't fold evenly, the whole thing bunches up... I wish they would design idiot proof wrapping. But I think that's bags...
Maybe there's a class or something I can go too. "How To Be a Homemaker" hahaha
Dec 24, 2010
Dec 15, 2010
Dec 9, 2010
The Boy - Book Ends
S, my best friend, has a little brother. And sometimes he doesn't make the wisest decisions. I mean, we can't ALL make great decisions all the time. But this particular decision was pretty weird.
He got his parents a set of bookends with two halves of a ship on either end. As if to create the illusion that when they're pushed together, there is a model ship sitting on the shelf.
When I saw this gift, I smiled and went to retrieve a book from my shelf to place between the bookends. The book? Moby Dick.
Signed,
The Boy
He got his parents a set of bookends with two halves of a ship on either end. As if to create the illusion that when they're pushed together, there is a model ship sitting on the shelf.
When I saw this gift, I smiled and went to retrieve a book from my shelf to place between the bookends. The book? Moby Dick.
Signed,
The Boy
Dec 6, 2010
The Girl- Tries to Make a Wax Hand
This was a bit of an epic fail I believe. My friend E and I were trying to make wax hands. So we went to wal-mart and bought some cheap candles ($1.88 in fact), melted them down and I stuck my hand in.
Fail.
Dec 5, 2010
The Girl- On the Topic of The Boy
I laughed when I typed in my first title: The Girl On The Boy. Then I realized that didn't sound totally right... haha
But there have been lots of intimate moments with The Boy. He's always interested in my boobs, or rather getting as much of my boobs exposed to everyone else as possible. He claims to be fascinated by them, because I believe his words were "they're just there and so weird."
I take that as a compliment.
The Boy is a very useful friend:
I feel like myself, The Girl, was born without the part of your body that makes you generate your own heat. The Boy must have received double doses of this gene because He radiates heat like a car dashboard on a summer day :P One of my most favorite things is sneak hug him and shove my hands under his shirt and steal me some warmth. He's got enough to go around!
The Boy's super human warming powers render it useless for him to wear normal T-shirts. It is mandatory that at least a 2 inch minimum of taunt torso is exposed. When I chide him, The Boy replies with a half-hearted tug at his midriff, "I can't help it my torso's ENORMOUS!"
But it's one of his identifying characteristics for me, when I picture Him in my mind, he's always flashing some skin and his spiffy green tattoo.
I love how a lot of the time The Boy pretends to be exasperated with me and my often ridiculous antics. But he always does end up going along with them, whether I make him walk a long way to dinner because I picky-eater-hate everything that is being served close to us, or when I try for the hundredth time to sell Him on the greatness of glitter, The Boy sticks by me. Sometimes He makes me a mix cd where the first song is about Boston and I love love it and then the next thing that plays is a song that starts off with the first line, "bitches ain't shit" and totally throws me off.
Or we road-trip... and I desperately am craving a slushee because I'm a girl and I get to stomp my metaphorical foot and demand things. So I ask The Boy to consult our trusty GPS and find the nearest 7-11. Keep in mind that we are traveling down a long stretch of highway- been driving for about an hour, and have at least 3 hours on the same highway in front of us. The Boy declares: "There's a 7-11 30 minutes away. Do you want to go there?" Me: "Yes! I want a slushee." The Boy: "Ok, exit here coming up."
So I assume these things: That the 7-11 is on the piece of road we've been on and are going to be on for the next several hours.
False.
After like 15 minutes of winding through side roads, farther and farther from the highway we need to be on, I ask "where is this 7-11!?"
The Boy: "30 minutes away! I told you!"
Me: "30 minutes away from the highway?? Why would I want a slushee that takes me 30 minutes away from the highway I need to be on to go home!?"
What ensued was a great debate over who was right and who was wrong. The details are fuzzy to me now, since The Slushee Incident was almost two years ago now. Still. It's one of my vivid memories of my friendship with The Boy. In a humorous way, I got a good lasting story out of it.
If you haven't been able to wrap your minds around me and The Boy, then a picture is supposed to be worth a 1,000 words, right?
This picture perfectly sums up our relationship :) I'm excited for more stories and more memories.
But there have been lots of intimate moments with The Boy. He's always interested in my boobs, or rather getting as much of my boobs exposed to everyone else as possible. He claims to be fascinated by them, because I believe his words were "they're just there and so weird."
I take that as a compliment.
The Boy is a very useful friend:
I feel like myself, The Girl, was born without the part of your body that makes you generate your own heat. The Boy must have received double doses of this gene because He radiates heat like a car dashboard on a summer day :P One of my most favorite things is sneak hug him and shove my hands under his shirt and steal me some warmth. He's got enough to go around!
The Boy's super human warming powers render it useless for him to wear normal T-shirts. It is mandatory that at least a 2 inch minimum of taunt torso is exposed. When I chide him, The Boy replies with a half-hearted tug at his midriff, "I can't help it my torso's ENORMOUS!"
But it's one of his identifying characteristics for me, when I picture Him in my mind, he's always flashing some skin and his spiffy green tattoo.
I love how a lot of the time The Boy pretends to be exasperated with me and my often ridiculous antics. But he always does end up going along with them, whether I make him walk a long way to dinner because I picky-eater-hate everything that is being served close to us, or when I try for the hundredth time to sell Him on the greatness of glitter, The Boy sticks by me. Sometimes He makes me a mix cd where the first song is about Boston and I love love it and then the next thing that plays is a song that starts off with the first line, "bitches ain't shit" and totally throws me off.
Or we road-trip... and I desperately am craving a slushee because I'm a girl and I get to stomp my metaphorical foot and demand things. So I ask The Boy to consult our trusty GPS and find the nearest 7-11. Keep in mind that we are traveling down a long stretch of highway- been driving for about an hour, and have at least 3 hours on the same highway in front of us. The Boy declares: "There's a 7-11 30 minutes away. Do you want to go there?" Me: "Yes! I want a slushee." The Boy: "Ok, exit here coming up."
So I assume these things: That the 7-11 is on the piece of road we've been on and are going to be on for the next several hours.
False.
After like 15 minutes of winding through side roads, farther and farther from the highway we need to be on, I ask "where is this 7-11!?"
The Boy: "30 minutes away! I told you!"
Me: "30 minutes away from the highway?? Why would I want a slushee that takes me 30 minutes away from the highway I need to be on to go home!?"
What ensued was a great debate over who was right and who was wrong. The details are fuzzy to me now, since The Slushee Incident was almost two years ago now. Still. It's one of my vivid memories of my friendship with The Boy. In a humorous way, I got a good lasting story out of it.
If you haven't been able to wrap your minds around me and The Boy, then a picture is supposed to be worth a 1,000 words, right?
This picture perfectly sums up our relationship :) I'm excited for more stories and more memories.
The Boy - On The Girl
I want to take this chance to discuss my view on The Girl...you may know her as The Girl, but I know her as J. The woman obsessed with turquoise, teal, blue-green, whatever color that is. The one who I suspect is just like me but we'd have to really sit down and make a list to be sure.
She puts glitter on EVERYTHING and doesn't seem to understand that it's not a good thing when I remind her that it gets everywhere and doesn't go away. She sees the beauty in the sparkle. I think it reminds her of childhood perhaps. Simpler times, for sure.
She's actually very surprising. At first glance, I thought I knew everything about her. But who knew she wasn't so transparent? She likes video games. And not just any video games. RPG's....whoa. This from the girl who spent DAYS picking out an outfit to wear to her first day of class....her junior year.....in college.
She uses words like "quite" "droll" and "certainly" without sounding stuck up. She's goofy and EXTREMELY smart. I feel like I can never quite put my finger on her. She's too fluid. Ever know someone that's fluid? That's The Girl.
The Girl is kind of like an ocean...If you stand next to her, you can't shake the sudden sense of calmness...However, she can also be treacherous and alarming.
If I had to sum up The Girl in one word, that would be it: ocean.
Signed,
The Boy
She puts glitter on EVERYTHING and doesn't seem to understand that it's not a good thing when I remind her that it gets everywhere and doesn't go away. She sees the beauty in the sparkle. I think it reminds her of childhood perhaps. Simpler times, for sure.
She's actually very surprising. At first glance, I thought I knew everything about her. But who knew she wasn't so transparent? She likes video games. And not just any video games. RPG's....whoa. This from the girl who spent DAYS picking out an outfit to wear to her first day of class....her junior year.....in college.
She uses words like "quite" "droll" and "certainly" without sounding stuck up. She's goofy and EXTREMELY smart. I feel like I can never quite put my finger on her. She's too fluid. Ever know someone that's fluid? That's The Girl.
The Girl is kind of like an ocean...If you stand next to her, you can't shake the sudden sense of calmness...However, she can also be treacherous and alarming.
If I had to sum up The Girl in one word, that would be it: ocean.
Signed,
The Boy
Dec 4, 2010
The Girl- Thinking Like a Kid/Adult
When you're a child, everything is believable and possible. As an adult... less so. Take the picture above.It's a giraffe. Riding a bike.
Now granted, this giraffe looks very happy, positively giddy as he (I assume it's a 'he' by default because there are no stereotypical lips or big eyelashes that clue in if a cartoon is female)
Why is this giraffe riding his bike off-road? And uphill? Is his giraffe school in the mountains? I think I saw on the Discovery Channel (because I'm intellectually hip like that) that giraffes can run really fast. I would hope so, their legs are freakishly long.
Then my twisted mind started pondering things that never occur to your average child under 10.
How is the giraffe holding the handlebars with his hooves?
How did he even put his helmet on/close-open his backpack?
I realize how useless hooves would be if you were trying to function in a world built for people with you know... fingers.
I also wondered about his little giraffe pleasure bits and if they were smushed on the bike seat. Biking always hurts my bum and I don't even have a stick and berries to worry about.
All in all I've come to realize that I miss the childish mindset where you absorb/not notice things like I have just wasted time wondering. Children never worry about why the giraffe is riding a bike. I bet kids think anything with legs can ride a bike.
What a refreshing way to view the world, as a naive imaginative kid drawing circus animals off-roading with backpacks.
At least the animals are safety conscious. Note the helmet.
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